New Year, New Me!

Character fiction from a troupe Vampire: The Masquerade LARP...

New Year, New Me!

by Simon W. 

Nyx sat in a bar around the corner from the campus of San Jose State nursing a beer. They'd been here since just past sundown, watching the students as they ebbed and flowed so expertly it seemed choreographed. They'd seen three successful first dates, many more unsuccessful ones, and lots and lots of vaguely punch drunk folks sitting in quiet corners with thousand yard stares. Those were the graduate students. Undergraduates still had so much life in their eyes. 

One of the obvious graduate students sat next to Nyx at the bar and ordered a beer. When he got it, he took one drink, and then set it down and stared at it. Nyx waited for several minutes in silence before asking, "quals or defense?" He seemed startled for a moment, but after looking Nyx in the face for a few seconds he relaxed. "Both, actually. Almost done with the physics doctorate and still working on the comp sci masters. How about you?"

Nyx laughed without mirth. "Oh, I'm done with the formal part; now I'm just doing the endless research. The doctorate is in Psychology; the masters is in Stats, and the undergrad was a double major of Sociology and History." 

"You a professor?"

Nyx shook their head. "Just got to the area a few days ago; still gotta figure out where I'm gonna land."

"Where you from?"

"Originally, the east coast but I was in LA when.... well, you know..." 

"Oh yeah, that sucks man."

Nyx and the, as of yet unknown, graduate student went back to staring at their beers with ten thousand yard stares without speaking.

Nyx still wasn't entire sure what happened in LA and they certainly weren't going to ask random humans. News was spotty because no one really seemed to know. That some sort of terrible disaster had occurred was obvious. But Nyx had missed it by getting locked in that timeless pocket of reality with several other members of the LA domain the night that Lilith made her move for world domination. And when they had emerged they were.... different.

Right before it had all gone down, after Lilith had gleefully informed Nyx that the upcoming end of the world was their fault, they had finally met their mysterious sire. He had confirmed that Nyx's embrace had been deliberate and that he'd been paid exceptionally well. He'd showed Nyx the book he'd gotten in payment and honestly, they couldn't blame him. They'd probably do the same for a treasure that rare. Pentex, well Lilith really, had needed someone to do the mathematical calculations required to bring about the end of the world and no one had been able to program a computer to do it. So they'd found someone who had the right blend of understanding of mathematics and how people worked. Someday Nyx would solve the mystery of why that had been the correct combination of skills. But probably not today. It was likely going to be a long time before anyone was inclined to voluntarily speak of Lilith. 

Another thing Nyx's sire had mentioned was that the nature of the Brujah clan was one of choice. Nyx didn't know if that was true of all of the Brujah or just the offshoot they belonged to. But when given a choice between passion and intellect, Nyx had unsurprisingly chosen intellect. Now they found that they viewed the world a bit differently. They still understood emotions and the kinds of decisions that emotions drove people to, but they didn't care to partake in them themselves. It seemed very messy when cold logic was right there to access. The gnawing hunger that had existed in the back of Nyx's mind ever since their embrace seemed to be soothed now by books, knowledge, and satisfying their curiosity rather than craving blood, violence, and action. It was a welcome change but Nyx did wonder if the people who knew them before would find it unsettling.

Granted, the likelihood that anyone survived whatever happened in LA seemed low. The only person that Nyx knew still existed that hadn't been in the weird pocket of reality with them at the time was Nate. And Nate was off being a fancy prince of a New Camarilla in San Francisco. He was going to have some sort of formal party in a couple weeks. Nyx planned on being there, even if they were going to have to call him Prince Nathaniel Black instead of Nate. Still, they were curious. And curiosity was the driving force of their existence these nights. 

Nyx paid for their beer and got up to leave. As they did, the student next to them finally stirred out of his stupor. "Hey," he said, "my name's Theo. I'll see you around, maybe....?" There was a question at the end of his sentence. 

"Call me Nyx," said Nyx. Theo looked skeptical. "No, it's not my given name, but you know how it is. I gave that up long ago."

"Fair enough," Theo said. "It's not like I ever respond to Theodore anymore. See you around, Nyx."

As they walked out into the dark December night Nyx found themselves thinking that maybe rebuilding might not be as hard as they thought. Maybe, just maybe, the new year would lead to a new life after all. 

The Past Has Teeth

The Past Has Teeth 

by Simon W. 

    "I don't actually have any narrative memories of my life." Ithil'lyn had told Rory, just the other night when they had been discussing demons and ways in which they might be defeated. Rory had been somewhat surprised and very sympathetic but Ithil'lyn brushed it off. It was just a thing about the Returned that a lot of them had memory problems. It didn't actually mean anything. Or so Ithil'lyn told themselves. Rory's facial expression had seemed to suggest that she felt differently. 

    The waning crescent moon shown in the sky as Ithil'lyn sat in the clearing of the woods near their cabin. They still weren't sleeping well since the world tree root had burned and the Returned had lost their battle with Mehs' armies. They spent half the night roaming the forest trying to tire themselves out so that they could go home and get a few hours to sleep, only to be awake to greet the dawn. It was starting to wear on them. Their decisions were becoming more emotionally driven and less rational. Something was going to have to give soon, but they had no idea what it would be. They suspected it was going to be their sanity.

    "What do you think, moon? Why don't I remember anything and why does it feel so uncomfortable?" Ithil'lyn didn't expect the moon, or anyone else, to actually answer the question but it felt better to say it aloud. They wondered if maybe they spent too much time alone between gatherings. But being alone felt so familiar, so comfortable, and yet also filled them with unease. It was hard to really explain. 

    Ithil'lyn didn't even notice that they were falling asleep, under the light of the moon. As they slept, they dreamed... 

    "See these tracks, Ithil'lyn, these are deer. And do you see these other tracks off to the side, those are a mountain lion." Aly'thena was not a tall Effendal but she towered over her child, larger than life. With her dark hair pulled into a sensible braid, she showed Ithil'lyn how to read the story of the forest's predators and prey from the marks they made on the ground. Both mother and child were dressed in sensible browns and greens for this day's hunt, as they always did when they were out working. Aly'thena saved wearing red and black for the rare occasions she needed to bring supplies back to the Citadel. She rarely took Ithil'lyn on those trips, preferring to keep her child away from a place that still didn't feel like home. The forests on the continent of Tear seemed like a much friendlier place for a child who had been born far away from the terror and chaos of war. 

    Aly'thena remembered that war and hoped that her child would never have to think of it as anything other than history. Her stepdaughter, Syl'thys, had a haunted look in her eyes from what she had seen as a small child. Aly'thena did her best to try and comfort the older girl but she knew she couldn't ever truly be Syl'thys' mother. Aly'thena had met Flen'dius while they were all sailing across the sea, hoping to escape. War brings people together in strange ways and Aly'thena and Flen'dius' love story was one of them. They'd both suffered and lost so much and they took solace in trying to make a family, just the three of them. It had been a surprise to everyone when a fourth member of the family had appeared after years of living on Tear. Aly'thena and Flen'dius had named the child Ithil'lyn and thought that maybe this was a sign of better times to come. 

    "Mama," whispered Ithil'lyn, "Syl'thys is sad and won't let me help. Please help her" As Aly'thena came to wakefulness she realized that her stepdaughter was weeping softly. She was surprised that anyone could hear her. She was not surprised at Ithi'lyn's desire to help, nor their inability too. Aly'thena went and held her stepdaughter and eventually Syl'thys was able to sleep. Aly'thena wondered if she would ever fully recover.

    One day while Aly'thena and Ithil'lyn were hunting, they found a wounded bear. Some less adept hunter had tried to shoot it with a bow and hadn't gotten a clean shot. They watched the bear stumbling around a bit, clearly in pain, the smell of rot coming strong from its wound. Aly'thena motioned for Ithi'lyn to stay still while she went in to try and put the poor creature out of its misery. A stray footfall from across the path they were on caused the bear to turn around unexpectedly and, roaring, it swiped at Aly'thena. Although it was injured, its claws were still long and deadly. Ithil'lyn stood very still and very quiet like their mother had told them too and watched, horrified, as the bear mauled Aly'thena to death. Only after the bear had lumbered off did Ithil'lyn run to their mother's body and weep over it. 

    Aly'thena's death sunk Flen'dius into a deep depression. He spent his days drinking Effendal wine and raging at his children. Syl'thys did her best to shield Ithil'lyn from the worst of his rages but nothing could protect Ithil'lyn from hearing their father say, with absolute certainty, that Aly'thena's death was their fault. Ithil'lyn took to spending most of their time in the forests around their home, hunting and gathering like their mother had taught them, in order to be away from Flen'dius and his grief. Of course, this meant that Syl'thys bore the brunt of it. 

    Decades passed in this manner. The household was not a happy one. Ithil'lyn provided as much food as they could to the rest of the family. As the siblings got older, Syl'thys started to echo her father's accusations, telling Ithil'lyn that she also blamed them for Aly'thena's death. The grief and rage that Flen'dius had been marinating in for so long finally poisoned his eldest child completely. And so the family was stuck in this unhappy cycle for a long time. Flen'dius couldn't be bothered to arrange for Syl'thys to attend her Flight of Sparrows and so she kept the name of her childhood well into adulthood. 

    Another hunter who sometimes crossed paths with Ithil'lyn, also from the Jokiota tribe, was more motivated however. He finally realized the depths of the dysfunction in Flen'dius' household and gathered together friends and neighbors. He arranged for both Ithil'lyn and Syl'thys to finally go to the Citadel to do a Flight of Sparrows but at the last moment, Syl'thys decided to stay home with her father claiming he couldn't be left alone. 

    When Ithil'lyn returned home, with the flight name of The Inquisitive Rook, some of the grief seemed to finally lift from Flen'dius. He started to pay more attention to his now adult children and seemed to make an effort to be more present as a father. Ithil'lyn was delighted to finally feel like they had a family again and Syl'thys seemed to be less resentful. On the surface, they were happy for a time. 

    Ithil'lyn was out hunting, about a year after their Flight of Sparrows. A snap of a twig behind them made them almost smile. "You never could avoid doing that, could you Syl'thys." Ithil'lyn started to turn around, only to feel a sharp pain between their ribs. 

    "You killed our mother! And her death turned our father into a monster. And now, now that you have a shiny new name he decides to try and make up for decades of not being there for me!" hissed Syl'thys. The last thing that Ithil'lyn heard before darkness closed in on them was Syl'thys sobbing. 

    "Mama," Ithil'lyn whispered, "mama, Syl'thys is sad and won't let me help..." 

    Sunlight shining on Ithil'lyn's face was what finally woke them up. They had slept past dawn. There were still tears on their cheeks from when they'd been crying in their sleep. 

    "What a terrible dream that was," whispered Ithil'lyn. "Please Gods let it only have been a dream." 

    

A Morning in the Forest

 A Morning in the Forest 

by Simon W

Ithil'lyn hadn't been sleeping well since the night the roots of Ren had burned. They'd tried to take advantage of the time by leaving their home before sunrise to pick herbs that were most potent in the darkness just before dawn and to mark the trees that needed to lose branches over the winter. They'd be back later to harvest the branches to ensure the trees would be healthy come spring. This morning they'd filled half their herb basket before finding a comfortable spot to sit and wait for sunrise. 

***

"Demons! Hide!" The fear in Palauta's voice had been palpable. Ithil'lyn hid, borrowed dagger in their left hand, even going so far as to hold their breath to be as invisible as possible. Every movement the other folks in the little group made made their skin craw. Please stop moving, they thought to themselves, but they didn't dare say anything for fear that even a whisper would betray them all. When those they were hiding from started talking, Ithil'lyn realized with sick dread that it wasn't demons. It was far worse; it was fellow Returned. 

***

A snuffling sound brought Ithil'lyn out of their thoughts. A fat bear had turned over a log nearby and was happily eating the grubs that had been under it. The bear paid zero attention to the motionless Effendal, confident in their belief that they were bigger and stronger. At another time that wouldn't have saved them, but Ithil'lyn didn't need any bear pelts for anything right now. Ithil'lyn just watched as the bear shuffled around and then eventually wandered off. 

"I'm sorry I'm failing you, Bear," whispered Ithil'lyn after they were alone once more, "I'm doing a lousy job of protecting hearth and home lately aren't I?" 

***

"Every sentient being on Adelrune needs to face the consequences of their actions, Levindicus! You don't get to be the one person that doesn't apply to; you're just not that special." He'd been trying to justify his reason for needing to escape death because he feared his soul was in peril. Ithil'lyn was so angry. But all of that anger disappeared in a flash when someone else wanted to harm him. They went from berating him to trying very hard to save his life in the matter of a blink. It hadn't worked.

***

"Quork?" Once again Ithil'lyn was brought back to reality by wildlife. This was a raven cocking its head and staring at them with its bright, knowing eyes. Ithil'lyn idly threw some of the jerky in their pocket that they kept specifically for such occasions at the bird. "I don't have anything for you besides food. I can't remember any of my dead who aren't Returned. Just please promise me that when it's my time You come for me instead of Eden, ok?" The raven blinked and cocked their head to the other side. "At this rate, You might be seeing me sooner than either of us expected." The raven chattered and flapped their wings at Ithil'lyn and then flew away. Was it just a bird startled by something Ithil'lyn couldn't hear yet, even with their sensitive hearing, or was it their God telling them that He disapproved of their fatalism? 

The forest was alive with chatter now that the sun was up properly. Ithil'lyn turned their face to the sky. Another day had started and that was supposed to be a new beginning. But everything felt like an ending right now. Still, people needed to be fed, clothed, and supplied. If nothing else would get them through their days, duty to their people would have to do. It was cold comfort. 

Self-Knowledge

Self-Knowledge 

by Simon W.  

"Let it fall to the Delfestrae to weigh pros and cons of what we know to be right"

The words of the First of House Kaelin echoed in Ithil’lyn’s head. They were finally home from the August gathering, away from the dust and chaos of Port Frey. Here in a little clearing in the forest they had made themselves a haven where no politics, Effendal or Port Frey, could touch them unless they allowed it.

Racks for drying herbs, a shed for curing wood, an entire workbench for tanning and curing leather, and a pile of stones made the space look exactly like what it was – a place where work was done. The only splash of color about the place was a small rosebush that Ithil’lyn had transplanted last autumn when they had found the clearing and decided to claim it. The red stood in stark contrast to the greens and browns they were surrounded by.

“I suppose I’m meant to feel ashamed,” Ithil’lyn said quietly to themselves. “My deepest apologies to the Perillinen but I’m not. The next time I do something without weighing the pros and cons will be… the second time.”

Ithil’lyn walked past all their various workspaces to a new set up. It was a stone and some wooden practice blades. They started going through a series of motions, warming up. They didn’t know if they had ever known how to wield weapons for anything other than hunting in their first life but when they had been convinced that the entirety of Port Frey wanted to kill Cecil, they decided that it was time to learn. The basics seemed to come almost naturally which made them think that someone had taught them this before. Blast this foggy memory!

Ithil’lyn practiced until sundown and then went to clean up in the small stream that burbled through the back of the clearing. While there they pondered all that had happened at the gathering although really there were only two things that stood out with perfect clarity. There was the trial and there was the name.

The trial had been… stress and drama and probably had aged Ithil’lyn by at least a hundred years. They were not entirely certain what the rest of Port Frey thought of the outcome. But it had suited them just fine. They were not interested in either executing or banishing fellow Effendal and feeling like either option had been on the table had been extremely uncomfortable. The sense of needing to circle around and defend one another was very strong. Strong enough that Ithil’lyn knew it had been instilled in childhood even if they had no specific memory of the lessons that imparted that knowledge.

The name would take getting used to. No, the name would be familiar in a few weeks. Vesryn’s absence would hurt for years. Ithil’lyn didn’t know why he felt the need to explore the death realms, but curiosity was certainly something they understood. Ithil’lyn just wished that he could have satisfied his curiosity in some way that was less… permanent. Still, he’d given them a gift and they were not going to return it.

Standing in the pale light of the half-moon, Ithil’lyn looked out to the forest. “Gods of the Old Ways, hear me. I have been renamed with the Ferryman Poppet’s power at the request of my friend, Vesryn, who now travels the death realms. I am Ithil’lyn, the Eviscerating Bloodstorm, of House Delfestrae”

They walked back to their work area from the stream. Tomorrow at dawn there would be more tasks to do. But for now they would sleep knowing that the Gods knew their name and that they knew exactly who they were for the first time in a long time.