Aftermath of Grief

This is fan created fiction about a character in a Vampire: The Masquerade live action role playing game run by Mind's Eye Society. If you are a fellow player, please remember that anything you read here is considered out of character knowledge. If you are a lawyer, please don't sue me; I'm not making any money off of this and it's just for fun.

Aftermath of Grief
by Simon W 


Marianne unlocked her door and quietly entered her house. It had been a long night, or at least she assumed it had been. The last memory she had was when she had arrived at the other house. It was nearly dawn now. Soon she'd slip into another kind of oblivion; that of death-like sleep.

She suspected the memory loss was a side effect rather than the goal. Although, maybe it was a kindness on his part. God knew she appreciated the missing hours right now. She didn't know what, if anything, she thought about during the hours she couldn't remember but she could imagine.

Juanito and William's deaths upset her in the way that deaths always do. But she could at least feel content that they felt like they'd done what they were born to do. She didn't like it and she wished to God she could have prevented it. But one some level she knew that if they hadn't died fighting this demon they'd have thrown themselves at another one. She recognized herself in them that way. Elika's words spoken in grief barely touched her; not because Marianne felt the other woman was wrong, far from it in fact; but because she recognized both Elika's emotions and the kernel of truth in what she said. She had rushed in. She hadn't done it as heedlessly as Elika assumed; it had been part of the plan. Marianne had the magic sword and her job had been to distract and draw focus so that the other three could attack the demon. They were all much better fighters than she was.

Make that, rather, they had all been much better fighters than she was. Now they were dead, killed by the demon. She owed them her life, as they had taken the blows meant for her. Yes, they had killed the demon in the fight but it felt like a very hollow victory.

Spyder, on the other hand, never should have been there. He had never cared about demons and infernal stuff before. It hadn't been his passion or his cause in life to combat them. He'd been there because the people he'd sought refuge from were demon hunters. He should have been off partying with Lorena or trolling the Cammies with Julien. She had to accept that he'd been there primarily as some attempt to win back her affection and that gutted her. The last words he'd said to her before he'd died were that he loved her and she couldn't even wrap her brain around the fact that she didn't believe him. No one who had acted as selfishly and callously as he had could possibly understand what love was. But then, maybe that's what he'd thought love was? She'd never know now.

Marianne wandered through her house, full of books and artifacts. Memory loss was probably not the healthiest way to approach grief and guilt. But she'd be lying if she didn't admit that it was weirdly making things a little easier. For now at least... there'd be hell to pay later but she'd worry about that when it happened.