Connor - A Retrospective

This is fan created fiction about a character in a Vampire: The Masquerade live action role playing game run by Mind's Eye Society. If you are a fellow player, please remember that anything you read here is considered out of character knowledge. If you are a lawyer, please don't sue me; I'm not making any money off of this and it's just for fun.

Connor - A Retrospective
by Simon W. 

Our first real conversation and our last conversation were about the same thing, the importance of Humanitas. If symmetry were important I could take comfort in this.

Symmetry isn't that important to me, alas. I could deal with a lopsided existence if my friends would stop dying... or being captured and "held indefinitely" by their Sect's internal police but that is a different friend and a different story.

Right now I want to talk about Connor, or if we are being formal Doctor Connor Villanueva, Lord of Sand and Sea. I remember when he got that title. I didn't see it; I was even then off chasing some demon or another (small d demon, I hadn't yet started chasing the large D kind); but from what I hear he stood against a Fae Lord because the Fae Lord in question was hurting people.

That was Connor in a nutshell; constantly standing up and telling people bigger, stronger, or more powerful than himself "no". It's part of why we got along, because we have... no had; I have to use the past tense for him now.

We had that in common.

Connor had his faults, mostly in the fact that he was overeager and impetuous. He also tended to lean toward self-righteousness. Again.... we had those things in common. I still have those faults. And now I'm not sure who to share them with. Because Connor was deeply empathetic and he understood what I did even while it worried him.

I don't even know why he was killed. And I don't know if I will be able to do anything about it. It's gotten to the point where my list of enemies is so long and so dangerous that getting vengeance for the murder of my friend isn't at the top. Connor wouldn't want me to get vengeance though, so maybe this is actually the best way to honor who he was and what he thought was important.

I'm going to try and be a better person for his sake. I don't know if I'll succeed.

But our first and last conversations give me hope, and right now I need all of that I can get.