Extremes

Extremes 

by Simon W

Druid Kaelan was looking expectantly at Ithil'lyn. He didn't need to say anything; Ithil'lyn knew he expected them to speak. They took a breath and tried to master their stage fright.

"Lord Ren, I don't talk to you very much because you are just so... big and vast and I am, I am so small." Ithil'lyn's wavering voice grew stronger as they focused more upon the God they were trying to communicate with than the circle of Old Ways faithful looking at them. "But I promise you that everything I've got is yours; I will protect, defend, and heal you with whatever I have."

Druid Kaelan smiled his approval before asking if anyone else had anything to say and the rite continued. Ithil'lyn internally sighed. They hadn't realized that they didn't like speaking in front of crowds before they had started their druidic training and it was going to be something they'd have to learn to be better at as it continued. 

After the rite, the channeling ritual began and Ithil'lyn lost all sense of time. They, along with all of the other channelers in Port Frey, became one with the tree roots of Tear. They were formless energy. Ithil'lyn lost all sense of their body and much of their sense of self. Instead they felt all of the life energy of every tree on the entire continent. It made them realize how true their earlier words had been about the vastness and the power of Ren and how small they were in comparison. When the group of channelers started to move the life energy around it was so massive that the effort of it overwhelmed Ithil'lyn's senses and all they could feel was life, magic, movement, and a sense of connectedness to every living being on Adelrune. 

When the ritual ended and Ithil'lyn found themselves back in their rather small, single Effendal body it was extremely disorienting. How does a person reconcile what they had just experienced. They wandered back to Port Frey in a happy daze, muzzy headed and blissed out. Eventually they arrived at Purser's Bank vaguely remembering that they needed to be there for some reason.

"Ithy, dear, are you here for my party?" Ithil'lyn stared for a moment at the dark haired woman speaking to her. Slowly things started to fall into place in their brain. This was Thespia, one of their best friends and... something else was trying to make itself known in their consciousness. Oh right, they were fighting over something. Thespia was angry at Ithil'lyn but she'd invited them to a party. Ithil'lyn remembered thinking that it was probably a good thing to have gotten the invitation because that must mean that Thespia wanted to stop fighting and be friendly again. 

"I'm a little loopy right now Thespia, I'm sorry," replied Ithil'lyn, "but I'll try to get into a party mood."

"Take a rest in the back. I'm still waiting for some of my other guests to arrive," said Thespia with a smile. 

Ithil'lyn found a cot in the back and lay down. They must have truly fallen asleep because it seemed like no time passed when Thespia was waking them up. But the nap had at least cleared up the sense of being disembodied. Ithil'lyn felt more like themselves. 

Thespia introduced their other guests, most of whom were strangers to Ithil'lyn. But Cyren, the Effendal from Ad Decimum whom Ithil'lyn had adopted as a son, was there. And Thespia said that Cecil would be along shortly. Cecil had gone from kin, to ally, to friend, to brother in Ithil'lyn's heart in the span of a year. Knowing that both Cyren and Cecil would be at the party made Ithil'lyn think they would actually enjoy themselves after all. 

The place that Thespia led the entire little group to was somewhat desolate and out of the way. There was a table and chairs but otherwise it looked abandoned. "Oh, Cecil said he was going to set up but he must have been delayed," said Thespia. 

"That's odd," Ithil'lyn replied, "he usually...."

Whatever Ithil'lyn was going to say never left their mouth as Thespia hit their leg with a gold brick, breaking the bone. Ithil'lyn stumbled back, awkwardly trying to hop, and ended up falling into the chair behind them. Thespia proceeded to tie them up with a rope. 

The pain of their leg was making it hard to concentrate but Ithil'lyn did manage to ask "What is going on?"

"Ithy, this is for your own good. You have a terrible thing inside of you controlling you and it needs to come out... NOW!" Thespia yelled and her three other "guests" pulled out surgical tools. 

The sight of the surgical tools made Ithil'lyn panic and they started to struggle against the bonds. There would be time for answers later, now the only thing on their mind was escape. One of the surgeons poured a potion down their throat but Ithil'lyn ignored it through sheer force of will. After that another one of the surgeons held them down and the third stunned Ithil'lyn so they couldn't react while the first poured a second potion down their throat. Sleep followed, dark and dreamless. 

When Ithil'lyn woke up they noticed that Malik's friend, Kellen, had arrived. And Thespia and her friends were doing battle with a long, vicious looking worm with armor plating. Thespia was hitting it with her gold brick and the surgeons kept pouring smoking potions down its maw. Eventually it stopped moving.

"Thespia," shouted Ithil'lyn, "what is going on, what are you doing to me?"

Three horrified faces stared at Ithil'lyn as all the surgeons seemed to realize at the same exact time that everything that had just happened was done without Ithil'lyn being aware of the plan beforehand. They came and started stitching them back up. "We are so sorry," they all said. 

"Stop!," shouted Kellen. "There's another one in there!"

Sheer pandemonium erupted as Thespia started yelling and the surgeons ripped out the stitches they had just been putting in. Without the benefit of a sleeping potion this time Ithil'lyn felt every cut and they screamed. "Cecil, save me!" and then "Somebody help, anybody, help!" Thespia put a gag in their mouth but Ithil'lyn still screamed. The pain was maddening; every nerve felt like it was on fire and it brought to mind every beating they had received in their childhood. 

The second worm was removed and killed and the surgeons finally stitched Ithil'lyn up. They were highly skilled but at this point it hurt to be alive, much less sewed together so Ithil'lyn couldn't really appreciate their abilities. They screamed at Thespia that she was a horrible person and a monster. 

"I'll be your bad guy if you need me to be, Ithy." replied Thespia, "I love you."

"Well I don't love you!" hurled Ithil'lyn with as much venom in their voice as they could muster. 

Cyren convinced one of the surgeons to repair Ithil'lyn's broken bone but of course it hurt. One more agonizing pain to lay at Thespia's feet. He untied the ropes and Ithil'lyn stood up. They took a step forward, eyes on Thespia, but Cyren put his body between them. "Ithil'lyn, listen to me," he pleaded, "that thing inside you was controlling you; it was killing you."

"Very slowly!" Ithil'lyn snapped. "Cyren, we had an agreement, that thing and I. I was handling it!"

He looked skeptical. "I don't think you were. And it was going to get worse and it would have killed you."

"That's hardly a compelling argument for me."

Cyren looked very sad. "Ithil'lyn, please. That thing would have killed other people. You're a member of the Effendal Council. Can you imagine how much damage it could have done?"

As his words sank in Ithil'lyn realized how stupid they had been. And with that thought came shame and extreme embarrassment. This, combined with the pain they were still feeling, made the world red tinged with rage. "Cyren, my son, you aren't the first target of my anger. But you also aren't my last. Get out of my way so I can deal with Thespia!"

He wouldn't move and Ithil'lyn reached their hand out to him. The same hands which had healed an entire continent only hours before drained some of his life away. Thespia yelled, "keep them away from me!" and Cyren just looked both sad and determined. He stayed between Ithil'lyn and Thespia and Ithil'lyn knew that there was no way they would actually kill him to get to Thespia so they just left. 

Ithil'lyn stalked down the road toward the bank with Cryen trailing behind. They tried to get help from several passers by, but every time they told the story of Thespia assaulting and hurting them, Cryen oh so helpfully provided context. Everyone took Cyren's calm retelling of the tale as truth and told Ithil'lyn they were sorry but they couldn't help. 

By this point the frustration of feeling like no one cared about their pain was overwhelming. It was at this point that they came across Cecil. "Cecil!" Ithil'lyn shouted, stalking over to him. "Did you know?! Were you in on it?!"

Cecil blinked down at Ithil'lyn in confusion. "Did I know what? Thespia said she wanted me to go to a party but she didn't say where. I've been walking around in circles in town looking for you." 

"I screamed for you. I hoped you'd hear me." 

"Ithil'lyn.... " Cecil now looked very concerned. "Tell me what happened."

Ithil'lyn told him. By now they were far enough from the worm's influence that they were able to truthfully tell him that it was probably for the best that it had been removed. But as they described the procedure that had been done and the fact that they had been conscious for most of it he looked more and more horrified. "Let's go find Thespia," he said, "you have to challenge her to a duel; I'll be your champion."

"I don't want to challenge her to a duel," snapped Ithil'lyn. 

Cecil wasn't listening. He was talking to another knight trying to sort out how to arrange this honor duel. Eventually Ithil'lyn realized someone had asked them a question. "Hmmm?" they asked. 

"What do you want to do? Do you want to challenge Thespia to a duel?" 

"No!" said Ithil'lyn through gritted teeth. "I want to kill her myself."

There was a moment of stunned silence and then Cecil said, "I guess we'll go to the bank then." As they walked toward the bank he didn't say anything which Ithil'lyn was grateful for. If one more person tried to convince them that they weren't justified in their anger they would probably start crying. 

When they arrived at the bank, Thespia was there with some of her cousins. She looked up guiltily as Cecil approached her and started to say something but he cut her off. 

"Why did you hurt Ithil'lyn?" he demanded. "Yes, you got that thing out of them and I'm grateful to you for that. But don't you understand that Effendal senses are much more highly tuned than yours. We feel pain more deeply. You could have taken provisions to make sure they didn't feel so much pain. You could have planned better!" 

Ithil'lyn couldn't hear whatever Thespia tried to reply over the roaring of the blood through their ears. They had never felt this angry. Decades of people who should have protected them hurting them instead flooded their memory. A lifetime of mistreatment that they'd never complained about or been able to stop all coalesced into anger at this one Trahazi woman who had hurt them while trying to be helpful and the feeling of rage was all consuming. 

Ithil'lyn realized that, once again, they had missed someone asking them a question by being so lost in their thoughts. "What are we doing, Ithil'lyn" Cecil asked gently.

"I'm killing her, Cecil." There was no venom left in Ithil'lyn's voice. They were weary and just wanted this to be over with. 

"Where?"

"Let's take her to Effendal Camp."

Cecil picked Thespia up while she screamed. She shouted at Ithil'lyn that they were ungrateful and Ithil'lyn shouted at Thespia that she was a monster. Many of the citizens of Port Frey and many of the Returned stared at the little drama in shock. 

There were Effendal at the camp but Ithil'lyn barely noticed them. Cecil held Thespia down and Ithil'lyn reached for her to start draining the life out of her. 

"I'll be your bad guy if you need me to," Thespia said again. "I love you."

"I don't love you," snarled Ithil'lyn. 

Something made Ithil'lyn stop. Was it guilt? Was it friendship? Was it something else? Instead of killing Thespia, Ithil'lyn left her at Effendal Camp half alive. As they stalked away, guilty, ashamed, and still hurting both physically and mentally they said, to no one in particular, "I don't think we're friends anymore. How could we be with all that we've done to one another today?" 

And, for the first time since the whole debacle started, Ithil'lyn wept.